Guess what we have heard - Adam Lambert is not the only candidate for American Idol. Is not it strange? Bizarre but apparently true. One of the other competitors of American Idol is a man, something like Michael Sarver. Or rather, he was a candidate - last night Sarver Michael was booted off American Idol, or be difficult to sing or be a little ginger and fat. Ah, Michael Sarver. We hardly knew you. Certainly, this is a conscious decision on our part based on your basic inability to sing songs and your looks strange - but what you can get fat. First, we would like to thank the American public. Last night, Scott MacIntyre liquidation in the last three of American Idol, but was rescued. As we told you yesterday, Scott MacIntyre is the beating heart of American Idol. Well, maybe not the heart itself, but his blindness was that the wardrobe is very cynically dress him in any shit, as they against his knowledge, which ' laugh like the disabled, right? Anyone? Hello? But because Scott MacIntyre was saved by American Idol elimination, this means that someone had to be sacrificed in his place. But who? He could not be Adam Lambert, because for once, he sang in a way that has not made him sound like a guinea pig with an icicle inserted his rectum.
And it couldn’t be Captain Monobrow because he’s already been eliminated once and, as fun as it’d be to bring him back and crush his dreams all over again, apparently that’s against the rules.
And it couldn’t have been any of the other American Idol contestants, because we don’t know who any of them are.
So that’s why, last night, it fell to Michael Sarver to fall on his sword. People recounts his demise:
On Wednesday’s Idol episode, Simon told oilrig worker Michael Sarver that he’d never win the competition. Now he never will. The voting public agreed with Simon’s assessment, and sent Michael home at the end of Thursday’s elimination show. Michael sang a reprise of “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” but by that point there was nothing really at stake — this wasn’t Alexis Grace. Probably no one apart from friends and family was expecting or praying for a Judges’ Save.
But don’t cry for Michael Sarver. This isn’t goodbye, this is merely au revoir. We may never see him, hear from him, think about him or even remember his name at any point beyond sometime this afternoon, but at least we’ll always have Michael Sarver’s best American Idol moments to cling on to. Like, um, that time he… no, wait, we were thinking about someone else. Never mind.
So farewell Mikhael Savron or whatever your name was. Nobody could do staggering anonymity quite like you could and, if we knew who you were, we’d probably appreciate that.
And it couldn’t have been any of the other American Idol contestants, because we don’t know who any of them are.
So that’s why, last night, it fell to Michael Sarver to fall on his sword. People recounts his demise:
On Wednesday’s Idol episode, Simon told oilrig worker Michael Sarver that he’d never win the competition. Now he never will. The voting public agreed with Simon’s assessment, and sent Michael home at the end of Thursday’s elimination show. Michael sang a reprise of “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” but by that point there was nothing really at stake — this wasn’t Alexis Grace. Probably no one apart from friends and family was expecting or praying for a Judges’ Save.
But don’t cry for Michael Sarver. This isn’t goodbye, this is merely au revoir. We may never see him, hear from him, think about him or even remember his name at any point beyond sometime this afternoon, but at least we’ll always have Michael Sarver’s best American Idol moments to cling on to. Like, um, that time he… no, wait, we were thinking about someone else. Never mind.
So farewell Mikhael Savron or whatever your name was. Nobody could do staggering anonymity quite like you could and, if we knew who you were, we’d probably appreciate that.